Growth in Uncertainty

      Hey all -
I apologize for the delay in posting; so many factors are behind it that I won't even mention most of them. However, my biggest block seemed to be coming up with something to write about. Then, completely out of the blue, I got hit with a metaphor that is unbelievably perfect! It goes along so well with everything God's been showing me recently, as well as with my last post. May it never be said that the Lord doesn't provide for us!

     So, last Spring, as the school year was winding down, I was put in charge of a new project we had in our class. We received a small gardening kit, with three different types of seeds, as well as three different colors of "NASA space gel" to use instead of dirt. (This actually ended up being my project specifically, as preschoolers aren't exactly old enough for a project like this one. It was quite interesting just trying to keep them from shaking the poor things!) About a week or so after planting these seeds in the gel, two of the containers boasted tiny sprouts, while in the third it looked as though nothing had changed. The first two grew pretty rapidly, and in about two weeks the third one had shot up even more so!

                      



                      



     Obviously, I was rooting for the plant in the red gel more than the other two; I thought it was so cool how it was so much bigger than the other two, even though it took almost twice as long for it to sprout! Classic late bloomer story, if you ask me. Anyway, I ended up bringing these little babies home once school ended. They grew pretty rapidly; so rapidly, in fact, that I started scrambling to figure out how I was going to transfer them to bigger pots without damaging their roots. So I took them to my parents house for some expert advice. (AKA, I let my dad examine them) He concluded that the yellow gel held basil, the red gel held a melon of some kind, and that the green one was either dead, or in the process of dying. I decided to wait another week or so before making the transfer; I wanted them to be as big as possible!
     Well, in that timespan, both the red AND yellow gel plants died. Like, completely withered and fell apart, within a couple days of each other. I was SO discouraged you all. I don't really know why, except that I had become attached to them, and was excited about having grown something myself for the first time in over a decade. However, I chalked it up to opening the containers before I was supposed to, therefore making it my own fault. I totally forgot about the other plant, too, and then left a little while later to house-sit.
     I was away from home house-sitting for fifteen days. During that time, I never once remembered my poor little green gel plant I'd left behind. The day I got back, however, I saw it sitting on the windowsill and felt a huge wave of guilt. I'm telling you all, the enemy uses some weird things to make us feel badly about ourselves. I was convinced the poor thing was totally dead; shockingly, however, one little sprout was still hanging on. I ALMOST opened the container, for reasons I'm really not sure of, honestly. Something stopped me though, and I decided to just let the poor thing be. I figured if it wanted to keep growing, then wonderful! If it decided to die, however, then so be it, I'd just get over it.
     Friends, sometimes I seriously believe that I would lose my entire head if it was not attached to my body. I say that quite often, but it's so TRUE. I forgot about that poor plant AGAIN, and didn't even look at it until I'd been back at work for a week. When it did pop into my mind, I ran to my window and ripped back my curtains. Lord have mercy, but that plant was HUGE. At least, as huge as it's possible to be in a tiny container that's only about six inches tall. Its leaves were pushing against the lid, its root system astonishingly intricate, and I saw brand new sprouts just popping through the surface. To say I was floored would be an understatement. I immediately called my mom and told her. God love her, she's always just as excited about these things as me. (I don't really connect with many people like that, since I get excited over pretty much anything. It's hard for people to relate to that I guess!) My mom, however, knew right away why I was so overwhelmed by this plant's comeback. It's simply because that plant is a perfect representation of myself, and everything I've been through recently.
     I don't know how many of you read my last post, where I talked about my walk with Jesus and the brief straying or two I took into darkness. Personally, I see so much growth within myself, especially in my spirit. (This being IN SPITE OF the darkness I kept struggling with in my life) I am that tiny beautiful plant in the green gel. I went through periodic spurts of growth, only to be overwhelmed by struggles; however, the growing process was still in play, just under the surface. I'd like to think that I have suddenly burst forth gloriously, like my tiny plant did! I would hope that others would see that as well. Although I suppose if other people don't see that within me, then it's not exactly the end of the world, you know? I see it, and I know my parents see it, and my siblings. That's good enough for me! God is so good, both to me and my tiny plant, who WILL be getting a new home soon. That little guy has helped me so much; I've had some seriously rough days recently, where I can feel parts of myself starting to doubt. It's so nice to just look over and see that little plant, who once struggled just to keep up with those around it, now struggling to fit all of itself inside its container. I love it!
     Hopefully this serves as a good reminder that God is constantly growing and stretching us, even when things are so dark you aren't aware of it. Lots of beautiful things happen just below the surface, and someday it will all come together perfectly. In that moment, when you finally see what you've been striving so hard toward, it will all be worth it. (I don't want to say that in that moment it will all be OK, because let's face it, it already is! You can thank Jesus for that one!)


                                 

"Everything that is ordained by God will come about in His perfect timing, and not a minute sooner."

-Tiffany Langford

 

 

"I remain confident of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord."

Psalm 27:13-14, NIV.

 

 

"The Lord works out everything to its proper end."

Proverbs 16:4, NIV.